Mindset Coaching: Shifting to Positivity
Life happens and we get stuck in negative thought patterns. You can be the most positive person in the world then something can happen to knock you down and once those negative thought patterns begin they can be really hard to break. It’s just part of being human. If you are ready to shift to a more positive place keep reading because I am going to share with you eight steps to help you get to that more positive place.
And I just want to add before I get into the steps that sometimes we need outside help and that is absolutely OK there have been multiple times in my life when I have reached out for a therapist and they are literally a lifesaver, so always keep that in mind as an option.
1. Step number one pivot your top three negative thoughts.
Write down 3 of your current primary thoughts and then choose a better thought for each one. It needs to be done in, small incremental shifts. For example:
“I’m never going to get out of debt”.
“Other people have figured out how to get out of debt, maybe I can too…”
Do this every day until your thoughts are around this become positive.
For example on day 2 “I think I can find a video with tips and advice on how to get out of debt”
day 3: “I have watched a few helpful videos on how to get out of debt, I think I am learning some attainable action steps”
day 4: “ I have made a list of 3—5 thigs I can start working on today to get out of debt”
day 5: “I am working on getting out of debt”
This is so effective, just be sure to keep the shifts little and pair them with action steps.
2. Start a Morning Ritual
If your morning doesn’t include time to meditate and set your intentions, this one is also going to be a game-changer my friend! Whatever time you’re currently getting up, get up a bit earlier. Start with 5 minutes (you can add time and more to your routine as the days go by) and then make sure you use them for THIS…
Choose 1 thing in your life you really need to change…maybe it’s better communication with your spouse, making time to exercise, better connection with your kids… just ONE thing and then jot it down on a sticky note.
Now think of a couple small things you can start practicing to improve this situation,
- i.e.: find a book to learn how to connect with my kids, google connecting with your kids, greet my child with a smile and a hug every morning.
Write those 2-3 things on your note, close your eyes, and envision yourself doing them. This should feel so motivating and fill you with joy. Stay tuned, I will be sharing my favorite morning rituals in a upcoming post, but this will get you started.
3. Gratitude List
Turning your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have is incredibly powerful. Lately I’ve been re-listening to ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle (MUST read, by the way) and he speaks to the absolute necessity of being present in the now, accepting the now and finding some things to appreciate and be grateful for. If we’re always living in our minds in our ideal future, we miss the point of living. Take a few moments every morning as part of your morning ritual to write down what you’re grateful for. Aim for 10 things, then re-read the list and for each item take a few seconds to actually feel happy that you have that in your life. Adding a “why” to it can help with the feeling happy part. This list can be as basic as
1. I am grateful for clean air to breathe because it is so nice to fill my lunch with fresh air.
2. I am grateful for clean water to drink because I am able to just walk to the sink whenever I want to get a drink.
3. I am grateful for a warm blanket because it feels so coxy.
4. I am grateful for a cup of coffee because it makes me feel alert and I enjoy it.
…You get the idea.
4. Make a Vision Board
The first time I heard of a vision board, I was confused. It sounded like something my pre-teen self would’ve been all over-but I was surprised to learn that adults made them. I kept scrolling… until a couple years later when one of my favorite books mentioned this technique…Then I tried it. Wow. I wished I hadn’t waited so long. The point is to get yourself pumped up. To elevate your thoughts and your mood. To shift your perspective. The process is you pick some things you want to achieve/obtain, print out photos of them and tape/glue them to a board and hang it on your wall so you can look at it every day. This is especially powerful when paired with goal setting, you can read my goal setting post here.
5. Find 5 Sources of Support
Have you ever heard of John Gottman’s magic 5:1 ratio for relationships? It states that for every negative interaction in a relationship, we need at least 5 positive interactions to balance it out and feel stable. I learned from Stacey Martino that the same ratio applies to people. For every person in your life who is not encouraging you in your growth and supporting you to reach your goals, you need 5 people who are encouraging you. If you’re now making a list in your mind of all your friends and family and start finding your encourager list coming up shorter than your non-encourager list, take a deep breath I got you. Something I have learned is that your encouragers do not have to be physically present in your life. It is great if they are and over time you should work on that, but you can totally get support right now from 5 different people without even needing to have a conversation. Books, Youtubers, Bloggers, Podcasters, Online Coaches, Facebook Community Groups… These are all excellent ways to get support. They key is in finding people whose content encourages you on the path that leads you to your goal.
My wish is that you leave this post feeling encouraged and inspired because you deserve all the beautiful things in life and I promise you, just a little effort goes a long way with these techniques.
PS I have a channel on YouTube where I share these posts in video format (not word-for-word because I use an outline vs. memorizing a script, but the same points), hop over and subscribe for those busy days when listening is easier than reading.
