Get Clear on Your Goals | Reach for Your Dreams
Today we’re going to look at why it is important to get clear on your goals and then we’ll go through a simple process to help you do that.
Getting clear on your goals may come easily for you. However, If you’re like me, it may be a bit more challenging to see through the blur. Perhaps the waters of clarity are muddied by other responsibilities, expectations or limiting beliefs. Still, clarity is absolutely essential if goals are going to be pursued effectively.
Print out a copy of my free Get Clear on Your Goals worksheet below.
Step one: Look at recent past, list the top 9 things you want to improve. Remember to keep this balanced by choosing 1-2 things from each area of the 6 human needs.
I’ll make up an example scenario a we go.
For physiological: Get into shape. New apartment.
For Safety: Seek therapy to heal from past trauma.
For Love & Belonging: Set aside regular time with my family. Call a friend.
Esteem: Earn my degree. Read more books..
Self-Actualization: Volunteer at local animal shelter.
Variety: Plan an outing once per month to try something new.
Step two, narrow it down
What 3 things in your life could you change for the biggest impact?
What would bring you the most joy/peace/purpose/fulfillment? Think“biggest bang for your buck”.
→ 1. Get into shape 2. Therapy 3. Earn my degree
For a real life example, for me it was nailing down my homeschool routine with my kids in a way that also worked for them, thus eliminating nearly all residence. This alone ended up creating a chunk of time in my day to work on things like this channel/blog!
Step three, think about if you were to make these changes, what would your life look like? How would you feel?
→I would feel better, have more energy and confidence. I would feel so much lighter happy to let go of past hurts and heal. I would feel so empowered and excited about the next chapter in my life.
Step four, for each of the 3 life changes you listed above, write 2-5 action steps you can start making within the next week toward these goals.
→For goal 1. Get into shape: 1. Commit to begin 10 minutes 5 mornings each week by February 1st. 2.Login to my profile tomorrow to mentally prepare 3. Make sure I have my shoes, headphones, workout clothes ready the night before.
→For goal 2. Therapy: 1. Commit to scheduling an appointment by the end of this month. 2.Begin researching local therapist and asking around. 3. Start a note listing the main things I want to work on when I meet my therapist
→ For goal 3. Earn my degree: 1. Research the schools I’d like to attend and know application(s) process by March 30th. 2. Decide if a tour is needed it and schedule that in accordance with the school’s policy
Step five, how would you need to schedule your week and your days in order to make these changes? How much time do you need and how many days per week?
Goal 1: I need 10 minutes 5 mornings each week to begin. I will aim to add on 2 more minutes in 2 weeks.
Goal 2: I need 20 minutes twice per week to research. I need an hour and a half weekly once I begin therapy.
Goal 3: I need 2 hours 2 days a week for a month to research schools and apply.
After you’ve completed your worksheet, hold onto it for the next step which is Writing Down Your Goals. The next step will be your final draft if you will, when all the hard work of digging deep comes together to give you a roadmap to not only reach for your dreams but to journey towards them.
Keep in mind, I am not against setting more than 3 goals at at time, remember when I talked about the vision board we picked 1-2 things I each area of human needs- this would be between 6-12 goals… What I am advocating is that you just choose 1-3 to focus on for the next 1-3 months or until you feel you’ve nailed down a routine in working towards those goals before adding the next 1-3 goals to your “active pursuit” so to speak.
I’m excited to hear how your goal setting and process is going, let me know i the comments!
Identify Your Core Values |identify values worksheet
What is a core value and why should we identify our core values? Core values are the principles we feel resonate with our beliefs…They are characteristics and/or ways of living and being which, we deem so important that we desire to base our life’s decisions on them.
For example, some core values may be community service, honesty, adventure, and family.
It is super important to know what our core values are because oftentimes we think we know what’s important to us, but when we take a closer look, we realize that the way we spend our time and energy does not align with our values. Incongruence is such a common thing; it seems to be normal to live a life that isn’t the life we believe in our hearts we should be living.
To give you an example of living incongruent with your values... Let’s say your core value is to have a peaceful life, yet you work at an extremely stressful job, you allow toxic friends to monopolize your time and you don’t do anything with regards to securing a time of peace in your day. Are you taking the steps required for living a peaceful life? Are you setting boundaries around your time and space? Are you carving out time for yourself to exist in the peaceful manner you envision as your core value?
If not (as in if you’re not doing whatever tasks would support your particular values), that’s why I’m writing this post. You are not alone. So many times, we are unaware just how incongruent our lifestyle is from our core values because we live in a crazy, busy world where we are often unable to finish a thought before the next distraction comes along.
I want you to know, you can reach for your dreams and journey towards the life that aligns with your core values. You only need to take a few minutes to identify them, and in another step on another day you will get more specific about how to live out your values. Today, let’s talk about how to identify your core values.
It’s a good idea to set aside about 10-15 minutes for this activity.
Print out the free identify your core values worksheet down below.
Sit down, close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth. Next, with your eyes still closed, spend 2-3 minutes doing 1 of the following (you may need to experiment if you’re new to meditation, the goal here is to clear your mind just for a moment).
1. Focus on your breathing
2. Visualize numbers 1-10, one at a time, each in a different color…go nice and slow and then go back down to 1.
3. Listen to a short, guided meditation on a free app like Insight Timer, or YouTube.
After you’ve quieted your mind, set the intention to identify your core values and then read over the list, putting a check mark next to all the items that feel important to you.
Once you’ve gone through the list, now you’ll need to go through it again, this time selecting only around 5 items. Use a highlighter to mark them.
It’s really that simple.
Now that you’ve identified your core values, you are well on your way towards your dream life. The next steps you won’t want to miss are Get Clear and after that, Writing Down Your Goals. In these next steps we will look at why it’s so important to get clarity on a goal, how to get really clear on goals and the purpose and process for writing down your goals.
Reach for Your Dreams | Shallow Goals
Today I want to talk about determining shallow goals from shift goals when we reach for dreams.
What determines success when you are working towards a goal? …There are multiple variables. One very important variable we sometimes forget is, what type of goal are we working towards?
This is the time of year when New Year’s Resolutions are popular. Often times we jump on the bandwagon and write a goal list of things we’d like to accomplish this new year. All the while, missing some extremely important steps. One of those steps being, determining the quality of the goals we’re setting.
I like to break them into 2 types, for the purpose of this step, Shallow Goals and Shift Goals. I mentioned this in a recent video, Focus in on Your Goals, today we’re going to dig a little bit deeper into what these 2 goal types are and how to know what type of goals you may have listed.
Why is it important to know the difference? I am glad you asked. The way we spend our time matters and I don’t think any of us want to wake up in 5 years to realize that not only has little progress been made towards our goals, but we’ve been chipping away at the wrong goals entirely. Sounds like a bit of a nightmare, would you agree?
To go a little more in depth than my previous post went, a shallow goal is those brainstorm items we jot down on New Year’s Eve. The ones that tabloids impress upon our subconscious minds. Things like “Lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks” and “Keep a spotless home”. They’re not shift goals, they’re taglines designed to make us buy their magazine.
The problem with shift goals isn’t that they’re bad…It’s that they are empty. Void of meaning. They hold no real value in our heart and therefore are worthless goals. Does that mean shallow goals cannot be accomplished? No. It means it makes it much more difficult to accomplish and, more importantly may not even be worth your while in the end.
I say this because sometimes the goals we set don’t align with our values, I will talk about that in another post, Identify Your Core Values. Before we get to that, that’s look deeper at what a Shift Goal is.
Shift goals are valuable to us. Oftentimes we encounter some type of pain or discomfort in our life before we accept a shift goal. I used the word accept here on purpose because shift goals can be hard to accept at times.
An example of a shift goal is when you see the disappointed look on your child’s face for the 50th time when you tell them you’re too tired to play, and this time is different. This time something inside you activates and you feel an almost empowering sense that something has to change.
You know you have to rearrange your schedule to make time with your child a priority. You drop a note in your calendar to remind yourself this Saturday to brainstorm what changes you can make. This is a shift goal.
A shift goal is often accomplished NOT all at once, but in incremental steps. A process if you will. It’s as if a switch has flipped inside of you and you are unwilling to go on living the way things were. It no longer matters if the change is quick so long as you’re making progress.
A shift goal aligns with your values. A shift goal brings you closer to the person you want to be. The person you’re meant to be.
Let’s look back at the shallow goal “keep a spotless home”… now depending on where you re in your life, this could be a perfectly perfect shift goal. If you have children, it likely is not. If I made this my goal, my life would be miserable. I would be obsessing over ever piece of trash and dirt and misplaced thing…it would be a never-ending nag-fest. I would be relying on other people to behave a certain way in order for me to reach my goal or committing myself to go behind them constantly and clean up all the messes. It is never healthy to base our happiness on the behavior of another human and I think most of us have more important ways to spend our time than tailing the family’s every move in order to enforce spotlessness.
Instead, a healthier goal would be to keep a clean house. Clean does not have to be spotless. Some things can be out of place, but the floor gets vacuumed on a regular basis. Shoes may get sprinkled around throughout the day, but kids are asked once a day (or once a week) to put them up neatly. Expectations are reasonable for the phase of life, happiness and peace are not sacrificed in the name of spotlessness.
Goals are such an important aspect of our lives, they help propel us towards our dreams. I hope this post was helpful as you consider what goals to spend your time working towards. Be sure you’re subscribed to my emails, I will soon be sharing about how to identify your values which is a crucial step in goal setting.
Until next time.
Things to Put on a Vision Board
Vision Boards can be an incredibly effective tool when used correctly. We’re going to make one together that will help you live the balanced and full life of your dreams. We’re going in include material wealth in your 2024 vision board, and also holistic wealth. I hope as you reach for your dreams that your inner happiness is a priority. To make sure the things you put on your vision board are balanced, we’re going to quickly review Maslow’s Heirarchy of needs-I found this particular chart on Dr. Sarah Eaten’s blog, linked below.
https://drsaraheaton.wordpress.com/2012/08/04/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs/
Below is a list linking each need to a some possible way to address growth and progress. As you look over this sample list, grab a pen and piece of paper, write down 1-2 big Goals (think achievable in 1-5 years) for each area.
1. Physiological -Food, water, shelter. → Health, Home
2. Safety -physically safe, stable life (living arrangements, income, health) →Wellbeing
3. Love & Belonging-friends, family, significant other →Relationships
4. Esteem- self esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of self & others, feeling of accomplishment. →Milestone/Occupation/Career/Project
5. Self-Actualization -morality, creativity, helping others, intrinsic happiness → Feeling at peace, a sense of fulfillment
Though not on this chart, there is 6th human need identified by Tony Robins, that being …
6. Variety → Outings/Events/Adventure/ Travel
This is a sample list of goals to set in each area for our example vision board. It’s so important to not set too many goals at once, 1-2 for each area is plenty.
1. Health – Become a Bicyclist & Home-Rent an apartment near my job
2. Wellbeing -Learn to manage my depression, Be happier
3. Relationships- Spend more time with family & friends
4. Esteem- Get a promotion at work
5. Self Actualization- Practice gratitude everyday
6. Uncertainty & Variety -Take a trip to Hawaii
Of course, there is more involved with goal setting than just making a vision board. In my post Focus in on Goals I share 8 steps to achieving your goals. Be sure to read that one next, if you missed it. In this post, we’ll focus on creating a solid vision board.
Now for supplies. First, we need a background. You can use a simple sheet of paper, a poster board, a bulletin board or if you’re feeling fancy you could use a poster frame. Scissors. Something to adhere photos to the background. Think tape, glue, thumbtacks (bulletin board). Finally, you’ll need some photos. You could use old magazines (libraries often have free magazines available, ask friends, family or in a Facebook community group) or my favorite way -you could print some photos from the internet. Something to hang it on the wall. Just keep in mind the image size when printing so you don’t accidentally print full-page images.
I went to https://unsplash.com/ and used their free images. (they just ask that we credit the photographer)
I searched for an image for each goal, printed them, cut them out and taped them on.
I like to add texts to mine, I did just one on this sample board to give you an idea. I find adding phrases to be more powerful for me personally than the images alone, at least for some of the images.
Finally, it’s time to pick a spot and hang it on your wall. Somewhere you will see it everyday.
Be sure to look at your vision board every single morning (and evening too if you can swing it) to fill yourself with motivation, anticipation, and excitement. Stay tuned for my coming soon post, Write down your goals, to help you in your next step towards making your dreams come true.
Have a lovely week 🖤
Mindset Coaching: Shifting to Positivity
Life happens and we get stuck in negative thought patterns. You can be the most positive person in the world then something can happen to knock you down and once those negative thought patterns begin they can be really hard to break. It’s just part of being human. If you are ready to shift to a more positive place keep reading because I am going to share with you eight steps to help you get to that more positive place.
And I just want to add before I get into the steps that sometimes we need outside help and that is absolutely OK there have been multiple times in my life when I have reached out for a therapist and they are literally a lifesaver, so always keep that in mind as an option.
1. Step number one pivot your top three negative thoughts.
Write down 3 of your current primary thoughts and then choose a better thought for each one. It needs to be done in, small incremental shifts. For example:
“I’m never going to get out of debt”.
“Other people have figured out how to get out of debt, maybe I can too…”
Do this every day until your thoughts are around this become positive.
For example on day 2 “I think I can find a video with tips and advice on how to get out of debt”
day 3: “I have watched a few helpful videos on how to get out of debt, I think I am learning some attainable action steps”
day 4: “ I have made a list of 3—5 thigs I can start working on today to get out of debt”
day 5: “I am working on getting out of debt”
This is so effective, just be sure to keep the shifts little and pair them with action steps.
2. Start a Morning Ritual
If your morning doesn’t include time to meditate and set your intentions, this one is also going to be a game-changer my friend! Whatever time you’re currently getting up, get up a bit earlier. Start with 5 minutes (you can add time and more to your routine as the days go by) and then make sure you use them for THIS…
Choose 1 thing in your life you really need to change…maybe it’s better communication with your spouse, making time to exercise, better connection with your kids… just ONE thing and then jot it down on a sticky note.
Now think of a couple small things you can start practicing to improve this situation,
- i.e.: find a book to learn how to connect with my kids, google connecting with your kids, greet my child with a smile and a hug every morning.
Write those 2-3 things on your note, close your eyes, and envision yourself doing them. This should feel so motivating and fill you with joy. Stay tuned, I will be sharing my favorite morning rituals in a upcoming post, but this will get you started.
3. Gratitude List
Turning your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have is incredibly powerful. Lately I’ve been re-listening to ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle (MUST read, by the way) and he speaks to the absolute necessity of being present in the now, accepting the now and finding some things to appreciate and be grateful for. If we’re always living in our minds in our ideal future, we miss the point of living. Take a few moments every morning as part of your morning ritual to write down what you’re grateful for. Aim for 10 things, then re-read the list and for each item take a few seconds to actually feel happy that you have that in your life. Adding a “why” to it can help with the feeling happy part. This list can be as basic as
1. I am grateful for clean air to breathe because it is so nice to fill my lunch with fresh air.
2. I am grateful for clean water to drink because I am able to just walk to the sink whenever I want to get a drink.
3. I am grateful for a warm blanket because it feels so coxy.
4. I am grateful for a cup of coffee because it makes me feel alert and I enjoy it.
…You get the idea.
4. Make a Vision Board
The first time I heard of a vision board, I was confused. It sounded like something my pre-teen self would’ve been all over-but I was surprised to learn that adults made them. I kept scrolling… until a couple years later when one of my favorite books mentioned this technique…Then I tried it. Wow. I wished I hadn’t waited so long. The point is to get yourself pumped up. To elevate your thoughts and your mood. To shift your perspective. The process is you pick some things you want to achieve/obtain, print out photos of them and tape/glue them to a board and hang it on your wall so you can look at it every day. This is especially powerful when paired with goal setting, you can read my goal setting post here.
5. Find 5 Sources of Support
Have you ever heard of John Gottman’s magic 5:1 ratio for relationships? It states that for every negative interaction in a relationship, we need at least 5 positive interactions to balance it out and feel stable. I learned from Stacey Martino that the same ratio applies to people. For every person in your life who is not encouraging you in your growth and supporting you to reach your goals, you need 5 people who are encouraging you. If you’re now making a list in your mind of all your friends and family and start finding your encourager list coming up shorter than your non-encourager list, take a deep breath I got you. Something I have learned is that your encouragers do not have to be physically present in your life. It is great if they are and over time you should work on that, but you can totally get support right now from 5 different people without even needing to have a conversation. Books, Youtubers, Bloggers, Podcasters, Online Coaches, Facebook Community Groups… These are all excellent ways to get support. They key is in finding people whose content encourages you on the path that leads you to your goal.
My wish is that you leave this post feeling encouraged and inspired because you deserve all the beautiful things in life and I promise you, just a little effort goes a long way with these techniques.
PS I have a channel on YouTube where I share these posts in video format (not word-for-word because I use an outline vs. memorizing a script, but the same points), hop over and subscribe for those busy days when listening is easier than reading.
Focus in on Goals
I see you there, a list in hand of goals you are determined to accomplish. You are not willing to let the year pass by without making progress towards your dreams. I honor you and I’m here to share 8 steps to help you on your path. By the end of this post, I have confidence that you will be empowered to achieve your goals and it will be of your own conscious choosing should those goals not be met.
Determine Shift Goals Vs. Shallow Goals
First there needs to be a shift inside of you in order to truly want something you’re not currently experiencing. Be it better health, a degree, a specific job, more quality time with family, hitting a milestone… This is not the standard New Year’s Resolutions (we’ll call them shallow goals) where you list 10 goals you think would be nice to reach but there’s no real meaning behind them. You’ll know the difference between a shift goal and shallow goal because the shift goal is going to mean something to you. It’s going to activate a drive in you that causes you to take action because even if you have no clue how to get there, you know you’ll do whatever it takes because the alternative is unacceptable.
2 Identify Values
If you’re going all in on chasing this goal, you need to make sure you have your ladder on the right tree so to speak. Take the time to identify what your core values are. It only needs to be a few, 3-5 is a great place to hang around. Family, Wealth, Knowledge, Fun, Travel, Charity, Health… just to name a few possibilities. You can google core values and note the ones that stand out to you. Go back through a second time to narrow down just a handful. When core values are identified, its simple to determine if your time and energy are going to the values, you say you hold. Sometimes you’ll find other things are draining precious time and energy and those things need to be cut or reduced from your life.
3 Get Clear
Get really clear on what you want to achieve. You may have come to this post with one goal in mind but leave with a different one. When we look inward and examine what we think we want and start to dig deeper, sometimes we uncover more than we imagined under the surface. I witnessed the perfect analogy on my walk home from running this morning as to why its so important to get clear. The moon was visible, bright, and clear one second… the next it was covered by a cloud. It took several minutes for the cloud to pass and the moon to become visible again. This is life. We have a goal in mind but the everyday burdens of life overwhelm the vision of that goal. It Is only when we are very intentional to hold that vision in our mind, even when it seems out of sight, that we can receive the satisfaction of seeing it through.
4 Write your goals
As you clarify your destination and what it means to you, it’s important to write down specifically what those goals are. It’s best to stick to around 3 or less at a time. You can always add more when you’ve established habits and made progress on one. Writing your goals down solidifies what it is you actually want. It makes it concrete. It takes the vagueness and wishy-washy mindset out of it and gives you something solid to stand on. When you write your goals, you’re then able to identify small action steps toward them. For example I my goal is to get fit, I may set action steps of walking 10 minutes every day after dinner and reducing sugar from my diet. It’s also important to start small. Make the steps SO SIMPLE that it would be insane to NOT do them!! Instead of going from not working out at all to 30 minutes 7 days a week, start with 5 minutes 3-4 days per week…then bump it up each week as you cultivate the habit.
5 Prioritize Your Happiness
Science shows that when we engage in actions that make us happy, we are more likely to repeat those actions. Every morning and evening visualize yourself taking steps toward your goal, feel the satisfaction of completing those steps, the point is to generate an enthusiastic and happy feeling to rewire and train your mind that doing those tasks are a GOOD thing. Make it a point to shift your mindset to feel happy that you have the opportunity to work toward those goals. Gratitude is always a great way to shift into a happier attitude.
6 Get the Motivation Flowing
Next, take a little more time each morning and evening to visualize yourself achieving your goals. You can be specific or general here, just make sure the emotion behind it stays positive. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or anything other than positive you most likely just need to be more general in your visualization. Another great way to stay motivated is to have a visual reminder. This could be a photo, a post-it-note with your goal, or even a vision board. Whatever visual cue works to make you feel happy, excited and motivated to action. One more super important way to stay motivated is to surround yourself with support. It’s not always easy to find people in your life who support your goals, don’t let this discourage you. There is an abundance of online mentors, speakers and groups we can benefit from.
7 Prioritize and Manage Time
Getting to the specifics now that you have action steps towards your goals, its time to schedule them into your days. If you don’t already have a daily schedule, make one now. Choose a time to work on those action steps and write them into your schedule. Be sure to block out a set time for this. Do not try to multi-task. This goal is important and deserves your undivided attention. In many cases we need to identify time-wasting activities in order to carve out time for pursuing our goals.
Evaluate
Each week, do a check in. Evaluate how you’ve done the past 7 days. Did you stick to your routine? Did you prioritize your happiness? Did you use your visual reminders to keep you on track? This step is going to be vital in holding you accountable as well as bringing to your attention any tweaks you may need in your plan. This also the perfect time to celebrate your victories and add on another goal if you’re ready.